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First things being first...
Merry Cristmas to all! I would have sent another Ecard, but one of the Scrooge readers said last year's card looked like one that someone who didn't like Christmas would send out. Any time my friend Mark Stauart of The Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash fame calls and wonders when the next RoadNotes is due, I know it is...so here it is...I've just been distracted of late (wink) and by the way, there is still time to give the gift of music, so take a listen...you'll enjoy WOW! What a mess that last RoadNotes was! I stopped counting typos after 10 and I even managed to leave the ending to the "Dumped Doxie" story off completely...I'm feeling like this one won't be much better and I know it isn't any more interesting... Anyone who knows me knows I searched far and wide for a good home and found an older Ozona couple who already had a Chihuahua and took my rescues off my hands before I departed. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Next up and to the point, I have been informed that I will be featured in an upcoming issue of Horses in Art magazine......I'll let you know when... There has been an update on the plight of the Mustangs... you can find it here. All I Want For Christmas Is You! Yes friends...it's the season of giving which is why I feel so guilty about what it is I have been offered...a gift greater than life itself no doubt, the gift of marriage...a woman's hand...if not her heart...hmmm... and you'll notice there's no mention of love either. You see I was driving home the other night having finished a plate of fajitas at some Mexican joint when my phone rang and from no where a vague acquaintance called and began to talk to me about my future wife....he wanted to tell me how much he thought of her, how bright she was being a physician and all, how attractive she was...what a great income she had...and, how I really wouldn't have to spend much time with her? Except at the interviews at the INS that is! Nope, never met the lady but there was a bucket load of money in it for me if I say yes and I'm willing to travel to XXXXXX (this might be a give-a-way for people who know me) over the holidays and give her my hand...
I have no idea where she'll want to build our little nest, but then again, I don't know a lot of things about her, what foods she likes, taste in music, her name... although I hear she's a hell of a cook...anyway, first things first as I like to say... I'm certain on my best MEN, (I'll go to work on the bridesmaids too if she doesn't know anyone) and told them not only can they dance with the bride, but hell, they can date her if they want...they've informed me they won't be a part of it, but then naturally, neither will I. You see, there's a long list of reasons but the two most important are my brother would have to disown me (no, not becauses he's a chef) because of the security clearances he holds with his government job, but even more importantly, it would violate a pact I made with my maker when I had that before mentioned bout with cancer oh so many years ago...so...that said, money or no money, shotgun or no shotgun... the wedding is off. Random thought Now that the economy is in BAILOUT mode, do you suppose the government could utilize just a little restraint and refrain from commissioning studies that deliver conclusions that even its collective wisdom could have arrived at? Proving Once More I'm a Jackass The short story is that "The Comfortable Cowboy" cookbook will NOT be available for Christmas (duh!) and I never should opened my fat yap..... but the longer version is that it's both a good and a bad thing, as I would have liked to have it completed and lived up to my promise, but it has taken on a life of its own and I didn't want to rush it..of course this is EXACTLY what my brother told me when I said it would available for Christmas. Actually, that is a lie...I wanted to rush it, but The Chef refused...like a good rack of ribs, this apparently will be a slow process, but worth it in the end. In return howver, he has reluctantly agreed to allow me give you this brief preview as a gift. It will give you a feel for what the book will look like and at the same time be a perfect addition to any family desert table. It should be accompanied by the following cautions however...cut the pieces SMALL or risk a chocolate coma...you have been warned!
You Decide I recently stumbled upon one of those shots which occasionally make me wish I produced color images...I've decided to offer this in a limited editon of 100...and number one is already gone. This is a modern day "Visita"... these small chapels once lined the routes between Spanish missions giving the travelers a place to worship and bed down as they moved frpm one to the other. Random Thought Well as has been said before, Einstein, Matisse, and Jonas Salk all seemed to find enough hours in the day to do their jobs, so I'm wondering if those who say there are never enough are the same ones who find the time to tell others how to do theirs? . I was in a Love's Truck Stop at 4:30 in the morning trying to pay for my first cup-o-the-day (coffee) when a trucker (who else besides me and them would be there at that hour?) decided it was time to tell the clerk how to brew the coffeee, cook the hot dawgs and make change. Must be nice to be such a renaissance man.
Foot In mouth Returns !!!! Well it's been some time since I said anything that came back to haunt me...actually, that's a lie (see cookbook apology above), but it has been a long time since I said anything that came back to haunt me as the words were still coming out of my mouth...actually, that's a lie, it happened last night...but in this case who cares. As I was siting on the curb minding my own business at Tucson's 4th Avenue Street Fair, a well dressed middle aged man approached me and said, "There sure are a lot of Hippies around here...It's not a topic that interested me, so I merely said, "Yeah, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting one. Well that didn't go over well as he angrily lashed out and informed me "I think we have enough dead cats already if you don't mind...he then returned to the PETA booth behind me that he was apparently manning for the day. Sorry, wrong image...that's Cat STEVENS...last time I out source RoadNotes to India.
Almost An Exciting Moment It was one of those moments where you think it has all paid off...two attractive U of A co-eds approached me at the 4th Avenue Street Fair and with what could only be described as hero worship, breathlessly asked if I was Jim? Moved that my work had moved them, I sheepishly, but secretly proud, I said "Yep"... "Oh awsome" they said... "We're on a scavenger hunt and we need someone named Jim!" "Can we take a picture with you?". I've always hated my picture being taken, but now I hate being "needed" even more. Yet More Proof We're a Nation in Decline! I have never before had so many grown men take me aside and in a hushed voice ask me if we can make a deal on a $65 framed print.
Random Thought I don't know much about bacon and I know nothing about Applewood, but for some reason everyone seems to be smoking their bacon with it these days. Uh, sorry, that's Kevin Bacon in "Tremors"...wrong image again, but great movie. Things I've Learned: You can call a man just about any name you like if you're complimenting him at the same time and specifically in this case, telling him he doesn't look as old as he says he is. When in Phoenix, I do my laundry in a rather rough neighbor hood as it's only 50 cents a load. Well on one day last week one of the locals decided he would berate every non-black customer about the importance of the recent election. I knew he would eventually get around to me but once we sorted out how far each of us was willing to take the situation, he changed the subject and let it be known that he was just about to turn 60 years old (he also mentioned that he was hauled away in a Paddy Wagon the night before, which was odd given he was a black man who was keenly sensitive to his race and given that the term "PADDY" could bedeemed offensive to those of Irish ancestry and for whome the term Paddy Wagon was coined if they gave a crap about such things..but I digress). Anyway, I informed him that he was a lying SOB and that there was no way he was 60. He insisted he was so I then informed him that only a stupid mother f;%)er would expect me to believe that as he looked half that age. Proudly he said it was true. Well it went on like that for a few minutes more until I couldn't think of anything else to call him and he left the building, proud that he was mistaken for a young man. T he folks in that same area don't like the fact that Willow looks like she will come out of my truck at any time as she barks her protective orders. They give her a wide berth and some even walk around the block. The words, "Oh F*&k no, this can't be happening!" can be screamed in shear terror when one's football team falls behind by a few points...now there's a guy with a sense of priorities. Im an itinerant worker as far as my accountant and the IRS are concerned... that's OK...he's a neccessary evil (for now) and they are a cancer on our nation (until they are no more) as far as I'm concerned. Ineed some hand lotion for Christmas...some young punk asked if he could take a picture of my hands while I was at the 4th Avenue Street Fair a week or so ago and I know the only hands I ever look to shoot don't win beauty contests, they tell tales ...guess he'd had his fill of the hippies, transvestites and transients (not to be confused with intinerants). George Bernard Shaw once said, "AH THE PITY... YOUTH IS WASTED ON THE YOUNG"...thankfully, not always. There is no one quite so disgruntled as a Hooters girl when she is forced to work a morning shift. At least that was my observation at the Tempe Festival of the Arts when they arrived for work at 8am at the restaraunt across from my booth. Ihere is no more confident a person in this day and age than the one without a cell phone or voice mail. It's science that women mature faster than men, it should be common knowledge that they do it faster, further and more completely as well. Too many people who pride themselves on being direct, should instead take shame in the fact that they are rude. 
For the Man Who Has Everything... Ok, I've revised my Christmas list...nothing for me thank you, but anything you can spare for these two worthy causes. The Wounded Warrior Project by all accounts is a beyond reproach providing tangible support for the severely wounded and help them on the road to healing, both physically and mentally. I've talked about them in the past and will do so in the future.
The other group I am so moved by is the reason RoadNotes is a bit late in being delivered as I got completely derailed the other night while watching a documentary about the "Save the Chimps" organization out of Albuquerque. I won't go into detail here, but if you have an ounce of humanity in you all you need to do is see what I saw, learn what I learned and feel what I felt, if you wish to know if you have a heart, a soul, or a conscience. Until next time....be well and as always, please excuse
any typos (and you know who you are) and most importantly, "Save a
Horse, Ride a Mustang." |
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