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First things being first.. With the exception of one question, (and you know who you are) there were many interesting comments on the last RoadNotes...thank you all.....next, at the bottom of the page you'll notice a picture I snapped the other day as I was working on RoadNotes...my visitor stayed for about ten minutes before I shook him off...his job was done and mine had just begun. I also gotta say I love my trailer. How I can be happier living in a space no bigger than a prison cell, than I was living in a space the size of a NYC apartment I'll knever know, but it probably has something to do with why the guy at the end of the dirt road is happeier than the guy at the top of the highrise...must be the view...ok, that outta the way... All That Was Missing Were the Hellfires... All of America and most of Texas is clear on this day as I sit in my truck in Houston...a city where loading the wife and kids into the family vehicle and driving down flooded city streets is sport and throwing a party, replete with more lights than the Disneyland Electric Parade, while standing knee deep in water in your living room is apprently reasonable entertainment for at least one family... and you wonder why there are Darwin Awards
But then again, it never ceases to amaze me as to what passes as a good idea these days...on my way to the show in downtown Houston this morning, I stopped at an inner city gas station to see if I could find a phillips head screw driver which I need to attach the hangars to my frames. My last one went missing along with my credit card machine, numerous prints and at least 20 frames in Arlington, Tx the week earlier when my truck was burglarized...but I digress. Anyway, as I exited the truck there was a group (7 or more) black men assembled in front of the station doing whatever grown men do at eight in the morning in front of a gas station...so as I moved toward the door, (and I'm not sure of this) I think time stoood still for just a moment and jaws (I know this to be true) dropped as the white guy in a cowboy hat dared walk betweeen them. I fought the urge to say good morning, as I thought things could turn south in a hurry and while I didn't know which of them or how many I could take, I knew how many I would have to take and I lose everytime at 7 to 1 odds, whether it be a casino or a gas station... given the size of some of these "gentlemen"... so fortunately, my "foot in mouth" affliction remained in remission.
Even so, I knew something was not right, so as I entered the station, and with the burglary of my truck the week before, fresh in my mind. I turned back to see the two smallest guys running toward my truck. Deep down I knew this was a possibility when I got out of my truck but with my laptop in clear sight on my dash and my new credit card machine on the console, all I could do was smile, for as the first jackass reached the truck, he could not have known that on this day, in this place, I had decided to bring Willow, Chief and Diesel with me. And as he reached in toward the computer, the gnashing teeth of one VERY protective Chesapeake Bay Retriever and an ornery Coyote mix raised their heads from their resting places and drove him running from the area.... By now I had seen that there were no screwdrivers to be had, and exited the store with great satisfaction...and as the guy ran off, he yelled (talk about nerve) at me angrily, "that dog almost came out to (sic) the truck after me!"...I replied "She's done it before!". I then gave the three of them incredible hugs...content they had done their jobs, but still wondering how I was going to get those hangars on. The Gods Must Be Crazy (and bored). Now that my trailer is no longer testing my metal as a man, I guess the Gods have have turned to other fronts to see if I am worthy. In the business world they call it getting promoted, new tests, added responsibilities, career challenges...I suppose in my world it's called growth...either way, it seems to happen when we figure out one aspect of our life... another unanticipated one arises...a man wiser than I once said something to the effect that "We all rise to our own level of mediocrity"...well I loathe that word, so I shall do all within my power not to rise to it...
Given the above, it shouldn't be surprising that one's challenges are suited to who they are, which is why on my way to Houston a few days before, the first words that came out of my mouth as I pulled into a rural roadside turnout in Buffalo, Tx were "Not again!" (Remember the Doxies in Ozona, Texas?) It was the perfect spot to spend a night or two, but the idealness of this location was apparently not lost on the sub-humans who had dumped the two Border Collie pups that greeted us with scared but territorial barks as we pulled in.. They were very bold in protecting the area and there was a fenceline nearby, so I thought for just an instance that perhaps they were ranch dogs from the area...all the while knowing it was nothing more than wishful thinking. Well, whether they were or they weren't, the job of any self-proclaimed dog lover is to win over the heart of any K-9 in their vicinity, so I began... I first began my tried and true vocalizations, words of encouragement and finally commands which they had no doubt never been subjected to, but throughout it all, they just barked in fear and retreated to the treeline although the more submissive of the two showed every sign of wanting some love...the other, preferred the company of the Angus cow nearby...smart dog.
This went on for several minutes when they moved deeper into a small canyon nearby and I decided it was time to pay some attention to those actually under my charge...I leashed up my three and began to walk them around the area when the more dominant pup appeared and seemed to now be the one wanting...he obviously was in need of his mom and took an instant liking to Willow, who of course treats all things living with extreme prejudice, but in this case all three dogs, while huffing and puffing seemed to know these two were not the enemy. While the behavior was encourging, I needed to get settled and put mine into the trailer...not long after I did, a red truck pulled into the area and drove up to me. Inside was a farmer who had to be in his late 70s who said hello, introduced himself as Anderson" (never did say wheher it was his first or last name and it didn't really matter) and asked who I was... He then informed me that I was on his land...then again, maybe not...I might be on state land..."No matter, you're welcome to stay.", "And if you can catch a couple of dogs that have been running around here, you can stay as long as you like"... He said they had been dumped a few days earlier and as I began to tell him that I had been trying to but without much success, the dominant pup raced from under my trailer and jumped up on my legs...I picked it up and said, "Well here's one", he responded, "I'm not taking one without the other"..."My kind of guy" I thought and told him, "Well, I guess I have a project then." As he left, he added, "I don't know how people do this kind of thing...I lost a dog recently that I wouldn't have traded for a hundred thousand dollars."...he then drove off....well to make a long story short, I don't think he'd even made it back to his farm when the submissive pup figured the grass was indeed greener on this side and came racing over to his brother... The words, "well I'll be..." sound like something out of a script, but that's what he said, right before he said "I'll be right over"...and he was...as they drove off, I wanted to take his picture with them, but "Anderson " was not that kind of man, so I didn't ask...I did say I would like to see them again after Houston...and he agreed. Well it's one state, but two differnt worlds and I say that because while "Anderson" never thanked me.on that day, the day after I left Buffalo, he called me and said on my next time through, I could park my trailer on his farm and we'd "visit"... that's a thank you in his world and these parts...and it works where I come from too. A Return to the Scene of the Crime. For the reasons I described above, I made a hasty retreat from Houston, and called "Anderson" before I had even reached the city limits...I told him I was heading his way and would love to see the pups...he said they were doing great and I was more than welcome, which was not a feeling I have a lot of these days.
Well if in the days of Photoshop anyone should still believethat a picture is worth a thousand words, it should be me this one, because as you can see, these three...excuse me, four (Buster, his pit catahoula X) are fast friends and I have a standing invitation from a man who calls himself "Anderson" to see his East Texas ranch the next time I'm through...another thank you...his way. I woke up the next morning feeling more than a little satisfaction and you could hear it in my voice as I walked the dogs around the area where the pups were found just the week before. We were headed up to Denton, Tx for the next show and for a brief moment I didn't have a care in the world until...the dogs found a great home, I had managed to pull out a bit of money from the Houston show, I had been acepted to a Wyoming show I had wanted to do and...someone had dumped a litter of kittens in the grass next to my trailer while I slept last night! Had I missed the sign on my trailer that said "Dump Your Unwanted Animals Here: The Younger the Better"? Was this some kind of drop off point for those in need of an animal for sacrifice? "Damn", I thought..."I don't need this!"
I immediately called "Anderson" and told him what I found, five kittens, two were already dead and their eyes weren't even open... I was hoping he would take them, but could hear in his voice that he wasn't ready for such an an undertaking, but he did offer that "it's a cruel world out there" and I knew he wished he could...so I said I told him I just wanted him to know and that I'd take care of it. I hung up the phone and remembered that I had seen a veterinarian in town the day before...so off I went. The vet was closed as I arrived but I was sure they had some poor teenage girl in early feeding the horses so I wwent around the back, and sure enough, there she was...all farm fresh and full of love for the animals...I told her my tale and she said they could definitely help, "Just go through there." as she pointed me through the back of the building... I snaked my way thorough the back to the front desk where two older women were doing paper work. I again explained what I found feeling all the time they thought I was just trying to dump my kittens, so I added, "If I was just trying to get rid of them, I would have killed them myself...I'm on the road full time and can't take care of them like they should be cared for." One of the girls look surprised, but the other, didn't flinch..."Sorry, we have a contract with the city that we don't take in strays." They're not stray, they're right here..."Sorry, we can't help you." People like that should be working for the post office, not with animals, so I did the only thing I could think of...called upon the power of the RoadNotes readers and told her that I was on the road full time but not as a trucker which they had assumed, but as a writier, and that after I told my readers that the Buffalo veterinary hospital turned away three kittens, I was sure they would be hearing from several hundred angry readers... and then without waiting for a response, (I thought that was more dramatic) I turned and left. With the kittens wrapped in a blanket in my lap, I started up the truck when the nicer of the two women emerged from the vet's and said she would take them... she said they did have a contract with the city, but before she could finish, I told her "Well I have a contract with humanity"...she said" I know, I know, I'll take them home with me.". I handed her the bundle of crying babies, thanked her and was gone... I hated to think I had to use a threat, but desperate times require...anyway, I called "Anderson" and told him I was leaving and would not sticking around to take the pictures of his new prized bull that he had requested. But before I did, I dropped off a framed print of "Winston" with the girl who was taking the kittens home... she seemed thrilled with the picture if not the cats...guess on-the-road photographers aren't the only people the gods are out to test.
Not For the Squeamish... Okay, the odds were incredibly against this, and given the reaction to my "found body" story from last month. I didn't want to put this story up front, but the dogs and I found another body on one of our walks, this time in the parking lot at the New Mexico State Fair grounds ...and given the response, I got from some readers last time not to mention the doubt as to whether the entire story was concocted, I decided to document the find on film and keep them this time...She was a pretty girl, the Barbie type you might say, and she too deserved better...
I Think It's Called Irony I attended a NATURE FEST in Avondale, Az and as all of the "Birder" types were walking around with binoculars hanging, khakis flapping, all the while looking for freebie bumper stickers, hats, and walking sticks at the various booths as testament to their environmentally conscious lifestyles. In the meantime, right under their green noses sanitation workers were busy packing up sacks of garabage containing thousands of trapped honey bees that had flown in after the last traces of corn syrup in the trashed soda cans. Only one ranger was even aware that there is a honey bee shortage these days and like most government officials, "she knew best" how to save them. from their plastic tombs. Set in my ways as I am, I couldn't put enough distance between us as I set about freeing them in MY way and I'd match my rescue count against hers any day...oh wait, she didn't actually go about freeing them, she just knew how to do it best...did I mention she worked for the government?
Where Do You Want Supper Ma? Some would say this belongs under the Proof We're a Nation in Decline heading, but then again, we are talking about Detroit.. And quite frankly, I think Glemie Beasley and his "fresh coons" operation is just a sign of things to come...they're "hormone free" I understand.... Random thought When I actually had a TV or for that matter a house, I used to watch Cesar Millan, a.k.a The Dog Whisperer with great admiration as I don't recall observing him ever failing to teach a dog anything and everything he desired. But also being a bit of an observer of dog behavior myself, I was watching mine recently as I put a plate full of their favorite food in front of them and it dawned on me that I'd like Cesar to teach my three to "savor"...that's it, nothing more...simply to savor. .
What's Old Is New Again Kingman Arizona is looking like a Hobo town of Old down by the tracks... Guys and gals are jumping trains, building encampments and dressing the part... kinda makes me thirsty for some Hobo Joe, a Spam sandwich, a Camel and a tale of woe. My Latest Mistake Someone convinced me to put up the beginnings of a site on FACEBOOK to try and "expand my market". I'm not sure how everything works, but I know people can now chap my ass publicly when they don't like what they read here...at least for the time being.
Another Man's Shoes... As you all know and as referenced above, Willow is no wallflower so when ever I have them on a walk or tied out by my trailer I am extremely cautious with the surroundings...well while I was cleaning out the back of the trailer in Santa Fe, I heard her begin to bark aggessively and as I usually say, I said, "Now what?". As I hurried around the side of the trailer, I saw a young guy in his twenties approaching the trailer...Willow was lunging at him, but he didn't flinch and continued walking until he was within inches of her...I quited her down, but was dumbfounded by his nerve or stupidty...without a hello or any emotion, he asked me how I liked my truck as he was thinking of going on the road full time as well and didn't think his was up to the task.. I asked him where he was planning on traveling to and he said he didn't care...and after he continued on a bit more as to why he didn't care...either where he went or about barking dogs, or a whole lot else...it was then I learned he was a tanker and not of the gas hauling variety...you see, he had just returned from Iraq where his tank had been hit by a roadside bomb that killed his Commander, and that at an unspecified time in the not too distant future, he was to be reporting back at which time he would be going to Afghanistan... Some have called Willow a nightmare, this solider has probably seen worse..
Yet More Proof We're a Nation in Decline! We were driving through a crowded intersection in Arlington. Tx when Willow became very aggravated and I assumed like always, that there was another dog in the vicinity, but I was both surprised and amused when I saw the the subject of her wrath was The Chick Filet Cow, or at least some poor highschool kid in a cow suit on the corner waving frantically at passersby. I told her to stop in case she's around a herd of Holsteins any time soon, but since they're a dairy breed, I didn't worry too much, at the same time I thought "what was it about that cow suit that so enraged her?". I returned to my trailer and did a little research, only to find that Willow is not alone...apparently that suit has the ability to enrage more than just a few . There were more, but how much beef bashing can one man take. Ok, not that I need to be reminded, but this next story is absolute proof we are not only a nation in decline but that there are men of both far greater and and lesser wisdom thatn I...dang, which makes me somewhat mediocre, but I digress... I say that because if the following had happened to me there would be two less miscreants walking the planet and I would be in prison with the ones who got away, so I guess it's a wash. .
More you say? Ok, at recent show I overheard a man in his 50s talking about the actress, Lindsay Lohan... And lastly...what? What do you mean I didn't finish the Lindsay Lohan thought...that is my thought... NO man in his 50s should be in any way shape or form concerned with ANYTHING concerning Lindsay Lohan... geez, do I have to explain everything? Ok, that's enough evidence until next time. Random Thought...thoughts in this case... Why do so many in the gay and vegetarian communities (ok, my friends in both excluded...although a friend inspired me to write this...sheesh) have the unending need to tell people that they are? Just the thought of having to tell everyone about it keeps from joining either group...but as I've mentioned before, I'm not a joiner either. In keeping with the gay theme for just a moment longer (did you ever think those words would come out of my mouth?), as I made my way through Texas, I heard that Texas Christian University (TCU for you football fans) had scrapped plans for a new dorm that was to house gays, lesbians, transexuals, bisexuals, AND those who support them...wow, can you imagine the "kegger" celebration they're having over at the dorm they just completed for gay bashing bigots and those who want to be like them"? My Kind of Kid... 
This is the sort of stuff that makes a proud dad say, "Son , this is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you."... right before he leads you to the wood shed...except, the wood shed days are long gone. Things I've Learned: Fortune cookies have become a waste of time. Everything they can possibly fortell both good and bad has happened to me already. I 've spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars over my lifetime on all varieties of vacume technology, but nothing sucks up what I need sucking up like a cheap shop vac. Few if any of the people who wear workout clothes to All-You-Can-Eat buffet just got through working out.
Yep, I've still got "IT"...at least when it comes to 19 year old BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) Internet porn acctresses...I was "hit" on as she called it in Arlington while walking the dogs...I can't make any claims beyond that. According to 19 year old BBW Internet Porn Actresses, (at least this one) traveling artists are nothing more than Carnies and are lower on the food chain than BBW Internet Porn Actresses... According to THIS traveling carnie, BBW Porn Actresses don't handle rejection as well as traveling artists and lash out when they are...they also sweat a lot in the Texas heat and need a ride to the bus stop...but I digress. I I have no tolerance for hypocrites...I have no tolerance for PETA. If you wear boots and a hat into a nice big city restaraunt, they treat you like you were raised by wolves...we should all be so lucky...wolves mate for life.
Never look back at a shot when you've run out of film...it's only getting better. Arlington,TX has a race problem even if all parties are pretending it doesn't. There are some very serious conversations "man the pitchfork" type conversations being held in some very nice places (places where they treat you like you were raised by wolves) throughout the West...and it's coming from people you'd never expect. I resent that the the dogs can eat 3 dollars worth of bones and be happier than i can be eating 17.99 dollars worth of steak. I get a lot of emails both selling and dismissing religion, all the while apologizing if I have been offended for both as they don't know where I stand... no need to apologize as I'm not easily offended just as I hope you are not when I don't let you know where I do. I get endless "man bashing" emails from my female friends... I don't get ANY women bashing emails from my male friends... When on the road Rv-ing and you run out of Blackwater tank deodorizer, a Teriyaki and soy marinade tends to work just as well...in fact better. Random thought... Wish I knew what they call that "magic" that happens like when as a child, every kid in the neighborhood somehow showed up for an unplanned game of hid & seek on a hot summer's night and it was the best game ever....when a wrong turn down a country roadduring a freak Spring storm reveals a double rainbow for only you to see...when a "nothing to do night" down by the lake has wings when one by one, friends with nothing to do and bottles in hand arrive for no particular reason... I've retraced some steps of late hoping for that magic at different places and found the magic has been elusive...tno one came out to play, that rain didn't fall and the rainbows didn't appear...and the fire flies just didn't seem as bright down by the lake...not sure why, just as I'm not sure what they call it if anything...but if I knew...I'd surely sell it instead of "picthers".
I've Stayed in Some Strange Places... But until this place, I at least knew what they were called so I could avoid them the next time.. And Lastly... Things are getting fairly serious in this world we walk and space we occupy for such a short time, but knowing that , so many of us continue to lose our selves that really have no no weight the moment , if not before, we move on....so with that in mind, if you want to feel really insignificant (I know this flys in the face of today's "self esteem" propenents), contemplate the following Until next time....be well and as always, please excuse
any typos (and you know who you are) and most importantly, "Save a
Horse, Ride a Mustang."
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