Thank you to all who responded to the last RoadNotes...it alleviates my
loneliness and as a result my having to get to "know myself" better.
When Pigs Fly...
 Week 3: Tonight as
I write this, I rest in the middle of “open range” (you hit a cow with
your car, you pay for it) forest land with a stunning view of the
Mogollon Rim and herd of Black Angus cattle surrounding the
trailer...and while pigs cannot yet fly, Chief (my Catahoula (Louisiana
Leopard Dog/Shepherd mix) is convinced cows can climb trees as this
herd spends a good deal of their time scratching themselves on the
local Juniper and Pinion pines.
So you see, being an excellent treeing breed, when Chief gets wind of
their scent from the tree base, he is convinced that there is one up
there somewhere...if only he could somehow find a way up there to get
it...they’re also a sensitive breed, so I’ll have to let him down easy
and just haven’t found the words yet...soon though..
.
"I Don't Hate'em...But I Do feel
Better \When They're Not Around...
Well I’d barely hit send on my last RoadNotes when the
local police department descended on my “house”...the dogs were my
alarm as usual, but it still took me awhile to figure out what was
“going down” (cop lingo) at 1AM...as if the high beams and perp lights
(more cop lingo) from two cars shining through my window weren’t a dead
give away. .
As I emerged, the lead officer of course advised me to
“keep your hands where I can see them” which with that sort of wattage
pointed my way could have been anywhere within 50 miles...after asking
me if there was anyone else in the trailer (there wasn’t) or if there
was a handgun in the trailer (I admitted to one as my cop friends
insist this is a deal breaker if you lie to them about this and they
find it.)....
 With this admission, his “back-up” stepped
from behind a tree (in case he needed to get the drop on me I suppose)
and again requested that I keep my hands in “plain view”...this
attitude made me sure that I would soon be the recipient of my first
citations for a variety of infractions including “sleeping in a vehicle
with the city limits” which I have since learned is meant to combat the
homeless, “camping in a no camping area” (I informed them that there
were no signs posted in the rodeo grounds over 1 square mile of empty
space...they agreed) and lastly, my most grievous offense, the now
dreaded unregistered vehicles...i felt doomed, but some quick thinking
may have saved me...
After explaining the entire scenario as to why I still didn’t have a
street legal vehicle or “house”, I could see I was losing
ground...given that, I made an assumption that most would find
dangerous, but it was based on the fact that members of law enforcement
are people too and deep down really want to be liked and appreciated (I
told you it was a dangerous leap)...even if that were true, I wasn’t
quite sure how that was going to help me until the lead officer asked
me if I had been stopped before for the lack of plates et al...
 Thinking quickly, I devised a scheme to
wildly exaggerate the number of times I had been stopped by law
enforcement (I told him eight) on my misfortunate, but well intentioned
journey which began oh so long ago at Miss Wendy’s...it was then that
he fell victim to my assumption when he asked, “And none of them cited
you?”...I surmised they must have felt sorry for me, I told him...it
was then that he looked crestfallen, and seemed to be asking himself,
“Do I really want to be the only one to bust his b#&%s?...as the
wheels churned, I quick said I could leave the grounds tonight if he
wanted...to make a long story short, my one hour rectal exam ended with
him telling me I “checked out ok” but that I should leave in the
morning...which I did.
That brings me to my current location which is much more scenic and
where I am now the Sheriff department and Forest Service’s
responsibility (now a federal crime) but it was also very close to my
second show in the area at the Chaparral Pines Country Club which
occurred last night (5/5/07).
As a few well heeled locals were enjoying their Cinco De Mayo party at
the exhibition I decided to regale them with my misadventures to date,
including the previous encounter when one of them quaffed the last of
his Patron margarita, laughed, and informed me that the town’s
unofficial motto is. “Vacation in Payson and go home on
probation.”..,.now they tell me....
 To add insult to injury (which seems to
happen every RoadNotes) as I write this a “local” about 55 years-old
(who I recognized as my busboy? from breakfast at the Knotty Pine) rode
up on a mini-bike to introduce himself and ask where I moved from...I
was a bit puzzled as I didn’t look at this as a “move”...it all became
clear when I asked where he lived and he told me the “next pasture
over” ?...after digesting this and chatting a bit more about the best
forest service roads to “live” on in the “Rim” area...he left me with
some sage advice...”whatever you do, don’t tell the forest service
you’re homeless, (I’m not, but then again...) or “they’ll consider you
as residing in the forest and make you leave”...I now consider myself
forewarned...I thanked him...we homeless have to keep together after
all.
Next up for me, a digital camera so I can capture the likes of my
friend from the “next pasture over”, license plates which should arrive
next week from South Dakota, a trip to Flagstaff where I may finally
get some warranty work done on my “house” including the shower which
has not worked to this date, lunch with Hopi potter Mark Tahbo, and
finally, the Mountain Artists Guild show in Prescott on Mother’s Day
where I will be sharing a booth with the famous and talented painter,
James Lee who will soon be opening his “JC Gallery” in Summerlin (Las
Vegas) NV(not to mention unveiling my largest limited edition prints to
date - 24x36)...but first a walk for the dogs.
Until next time....be well and as always, please excuse any typos (and
you know who you are) and most importantly, "Save a Horse, Ride a
Mustang."
Jim
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