I have no idea why, but this week's RoadNotes is chock full of movie
references? Not a deep thought, just one I had.
Cherry, AZ
 Week 4: It’s sunset and the coyotes have
just made a kill (hear it once and you’ll know) not far from the
trailer, the dogs are excited, but I on the contrary am a bit blue this
evening, for it appears that my close affiliation with the law
enforcement communities of the West may have come to an end (knock
wood)...you see, my new license plates have arrived (at least for my
truck - South Dakota w/Mount Rushmore on them - they don’t make men
like those four anymore do they?).
Yes, I say blue, because as I flagrantly cut a swath of vehicle
infractions across the Southwest, I began to look at my life on-the-run
as more than just a life of crime, but also a thumb in the eye of every
crooked small town sheriff who ever set up a speed trap, every corrupt
big city cop whoever made you/me empty my wallet “or take a ride
downtown” (painful story) and every highway patrolman whoever let a
“tall blond in a tank top” walk after doing 95 mph through a
construction zone at high-noon, but ticketed you...(ok me) for doing 61
mph in a 55 mph at 7am not more than a mile from the aforementioned
tank topped blonde’s infraction...there, I said it, and I’m suddenly
not so blue.
I can only hope I will be missed by my pursuers as I
imagine “Billy the Kid” must have been missed by Pat Garrett when he
finally gunned him down in that darkened flop house in 1881...surely
they appreciated the thrill of the hunt as well? Alright, I can hear
you now...“Good god, Jim’s been in that trailer too long”...
Perhaps, but if I don’t romanticize such nonsense, I’ll
be forced to admit I’m feeling more like Steve Martin in “The Jerk”
when he realizes his name is in the phone book, and the exultation “My
new plates are here!” My new plates are here!...
won’t make me feel much better at the end of the day...
Speaking of law enforcement communities, I am becoming
keenly aware of “speed traps” throughout the country, but for reasons
you may not think...you see when before in a standard vehicle, I was
apprehensive that I might be ensnared, I am now always well under the
posted limit and and better able to understand their (law enforcement)
tactics...that said, I would appreciate hearing from anyone who has an
obvious speed trap in their state and where it is they lurk as I might
be coming to the prverbial “town near you” soon...
Not only will it help keep my travels more cost
efficient, but I will be compiling a list and setting up a very
rudimentary website dedicated to such antics. My first impulse was to
direct you to, or use the information available at Speedtrap.org , but
they don’t even mention Miami, Az which anyone in Arizona knows is one
big speed-trap, so unfortunately, it is not to be trusted.
Some available websites are welcometomytown.org -
justtakemylicensenow.net - doyoutakecreditcards.biz - and
watchurass.com
But I’m open to suggestions too.
Prescott, AZ
Today is Wednesday and while I’m here for the Mountain
Artists Guild’s annual Mothers Day show, I’m also here for a few
medical tests...I just got back from a day at the hospital, or YRMC
(Yavapai Regional Medical Center) as they call it around here...where I
got a bone scan to as the report referred to it, to “R/O (rule out?)
“Mastisis” from my cancer 20 years ago (to put it delicately, I was
Lance Armstrong before it was fashionable and not because I enjoy a
long bike ride (which quite frankly I don’t) because there is a “bone
island” on my bad hip. .
As luck would have it, 99.9 percent of the time “bone
islands” (sounds like the sequel to “Brokeback Mountain” doesn’t it?)
is nothing to worry about unless of course you were, you guessed it,
Lance Armstrong before “it” was popular...anyway YRMC touts themselves
as one of the Top 100 hospitals in the country so...I guess that means
they’re supposed to know what they’re doing...let’s hope so.
 And I hope that also means they and my
other doctors tomorrow wield knowledge that outflanks the rat bastards
who worked on my warranty issues with the trailer on Monday...I just
checked my fresh water level in the trailer in preparation for my very
much anticipated, first ever, shower in my “house” and the GD thing is
at the 1/3 level?
It’s an enigma, since on Monday, when I informed them that I didn’t
think the gauge was working properly, they informed me that I wasn’t
reading it properly, and that it was indeed full...That’s odd, I have
used it to brush my teeth exactly once ( I swear I brush my teeth at
least twice a day) because frankly I still prefer to sit outside and do
it camping style....
 Well, well, what a surprise...another
surprise this morning, even with the 1/3 tank of water, none of it
seems to be in my hot water tank...hmmm...A call to the RV service
center in Elkhart, IN where they “prepped” this thing for me informs me
that it was because none of the de-winterizing procedures had been
executed...hmm...no doubt an honest mistake as how were they to know
given just 6 weeks notice that a customer from Arizona might not need
anti-freeze in all of the trailer’s pipes and instead might enjoy a
shower every now and then??...
I told them that given that, they might they want to inform the
customer and maybe, just maybe mention that there is no literature in
the owner’s manual that tells you where to find the shut off/on valves
so the customer can direct water into the heater themselves (once they
discover that it hasn’t been)?
‘Can’t do that.’, he said. ‘They put ‘em all (the
valves and pumps) in different places’. If I am diagnosed as terminal
after these medical tests (such drama) I shall definitely be making a
return trip to Heartland Rv’s plant in Indiana...but first now that
I’ve got hot water, it’s shower time... and a moratorium on trailer
talk.
 Random Thought: My agent who handles my
images for Art.com
among others says she has lined up a gallery
for a showing in Japan come this fall...time will tell, but it felt
more like I was being thrown a bone when I said I hadn’t received some
checks.
Update - Aside from you all, now my dogs think I’m crazy too as I just
sang “King of the World” by my friend Mark (Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash
- you can find them on iTunes among others) I can do just about
anything and they ignore me (I actually have a lot of people in my life
like that, or used to any way) but singing they seem to respond
to...uncomfortably however.
Anyway, my doc (the first I’m waiting to hear from)
called after just 18 hours which usually isn’t good, but in this case
it was...I’m only falling apart and not dying or at least not in 6
months...so the folks at the RV service center are safe for now and it
is also a good time for any of you to unsubscribe if you’ve had enough
of my ramblings.
Also, just for the record...I’ve always predicted I
would live to a very old age (young story tellers are liars, old ones
are...GREAT storytellers) they would just keep taking pieces of me
along the way...watch the opening to “Young Guns” and you’ll get the
picture.
Random thought...Everyone should own or at least take to
heart Dierk Bentley’s Long
Walk Alone...trust me on this one...’nuff said.
It just dawned on me that this weekend, my friend Matt Suess will be staying
with me...counting Joe Robertson
who stayed here/there/wherever during the Oro Valley show, that now
exceeds by, well two the number of friends who stayed at my home in
Paulden during the two + years I lived there...I’m inclined to believe
my status as an anti-social recluse is in jeopardy.
It’s just after dark on Sunday night and Bob Wills is on
the radio... I’m camped at the “Hilltop” campground in the Prescott
forest just south of Lynx Lake (A restricted breeding area for Bald
Eagles during the winter and I saw a pair hunting this morning down at
the lake) . It’s a very pretty area and it is made more pleasant
tonight given that all of the weekend party atmosphere has abandoned
camp for the heat of Phoenix from whence they came.
It has been made even more special when my only neighbor
in the camp (a man of obviously limited means) walked several campsites
over to me carrying something which I could not quite make out in the
fading light...I had seen him put his axe down so my thoughts of a
serial killer were not revisited...also his camp was well lighted, so I
felt confident it wasn’t a wick he was after...
Then what could it be...everyone want’s something, don’t
they?...as he came closer it became clear he was offering not
asking...how rare. In a strong but unsure voice, he said “Do you like
crab?” Was this a trick question?
I told him I had ‘just finished dinner, (I don’t accept gifts well, but
hey this was crab) but yeah, sure I do.’ He then produced what is one
of the largest King Crab legs I have ever seen and a small pot filled
with nicely melted butter...”You can give it back when you’re though”,
he said...and I could only think angels do exist...and sometimes they
may be of “obviously limited means”...or may be always...who knows.
Anyway, another week comes to an end and it was another
mixed bag...which I guess is an improvement?
On the downside, first and foremost, three of our
soldiers have been kidnapped in Iraq tonight...with any luck they’ll go
quickly (unlike the last two). For me, restless nights always accompany
news such as this... if it bothers you as well, here is a great cause.
Second and I won’t bore you with the details given
the aforementioned missing troops and despite the fact that the bulk of
my emailers tell me they are guilty of enjoying my misfortunes, (I’m
beginning to suspect the RoadNotes subscribers are actually members of
the Three Stooges Fan club as well) my friends at the U.S. Forest
Service in the Prescott area, need to actually get out into the forest
as they nearly got me stuck in two campgrounds due to egregiously
inaccurate advice. I shant trust them again.
Thirdly, Western wall art took a beating at this show
and I was of course among them (My answer to this is coming soon - see
below).
On the upside, my second round of test results came in and they too
were “negative” which in this case, is a “positive” ...
Matt Suess, though he may now regret it, did spend two nights with me.
And in between burgers and a beer and nearly getting bit by Diesel, (my
mistake...I told him to enter my trailer without me while I kept an eye
on Willow, because she’s overly protective) we had discussions of dogs,
coyotes (Matt heard his first chatter), art selling techniques and even
when the United States might fall victim to a suitcase nuke.
We also managed to break the fold-out bed (so now my trailer only
sleeps eight) which sounds like an item that should be included in the
downside, but since Joe Robertson (my previous guest) is not around to
defend himself, I and Matt are more inclined to believe it was he who
did it in after that Oro Valley show...thanks a lot Joe!
Anyway, I had visions of circumventing the country with a bed filling
the “living room” space, but like most things, it was fixable with a
glass of red wine and a hammer after tonight’s (Mothers Day)
show...thus it shall be filed with the positives for the week...
Next, a loyal reader offered me a place to park my trailer when I am in
Kingman, AZ along with the assurance that there “is plenty of room to
maneuver”...geez, is everyone running scared?...
And lastly (although there are more) I have secured a new domain name
which will soon replace thelastfrontier.net (although it will always
work) and reflect a bit (no, not another color image mistake) of a
change...but more soon.
Until next time....be well and as always, please excuse any typos (and
you know who you are) and most importantly, "Save a Horse, Ride a
Mustang."
Jim |
